Many have lost their jobs and many more are at risk. What do you do when it happens to you? Here is some perspective offered from one who has been there.
1. Grieve the loss. Does that seem too dramatic? Not to the one who has suffered this loss. It hits you where you live, it shakes your confidence, it causes self doubt, it scares you, makes you angry, bewilders you and causes emotions precisely parallel to other significant life losses. You can google “stages of grief” for lots of information, but the most typical discussions list 5 predictable stages: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. As humans we have the rare ability to be going through emotional stages in our heart and observing these same stages in our mind’s eye. It is helpful to see what you are feeling is really quiet normal.
2. Live in the moment. That does not mean to deny that tomorrow will come and some planning is needed, but you really only can do what you can do “right now” for that is all you have. “Borrowing possible trouble” from tomorrow is not wise, but you will have to exercise mental discipline to stay in the moment.
Here is some help on how to view time use (turn on sound):
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3. Get a spiral ring notebook and begin writing. Keep at least two sections. The first is thoughts that occur about your options as you develop a plan of action. Personal financial concerns go here as well as steps you can take to address getting your work life going again. It is very helpful to keep a log of all your thoughts as your creative side begins to emerge. Also log conversations with others in your household, in your family and within the community about their ideas. The other section is a personal and confidential journal of your inner most feelings and thoughts as you go through this experience. This is immensely helpful to your self image, it gives feelings of empowerment and it captures the experience for future use. You will endure pain, but also unexpected gifts. Write down what you are feeling.
4. When the smoke begins to clear a little, take control of the situation with a teeth gritting, dogged determination that you are going to WIN. What others would count as defeat you will turn upside down and emerge from the experience much better. This is a mental state that you assume and maintain. In the book There’s More to Life than the Corner Office that I wrote with Tammy Kling, on page 108 there is an instructive dialogue between Patrick, the 28 year old who was fired by a liar of a boss to cover his own dishonesty, talking with the 60 something and wise, Al, who is pointing out Patrick’s options. Let’s listen in:
“Al, I still don’t know why you have taken me on as a student, but I am very grateful. I want a black belt.”
“In time, Patrick. You have all the seeds of greatness. Don’t let others sidetrack you from success by you getting
angry or emotional. You have a world class opportunity here. What happens to us in life is less important than the way we respond to it. You have two choices. You were fired today. You can decide if it’s an unfair calamity in your life based on lies, or you can decide if it is a wonderful gift. You and only you can make that determination, and it drives the outcome of all this. A victim will determine it’s a calamity and tell his or her life story from that reference point. Heroic people make the decision to evaluate, learn, and push forward to be better than ever.”
“I plan to be the heroic one,” I said.
“Good. Not easy, but worth it.”
5. Communicate well with those close to you in your family and your close friends. Don’t go it alone. That is not necessary, productive or enriching.
6. If significant changes become necessary due to finances, stay ahead of the process. Plan, know where you stand, keep those affected in your family and your creditors fully informed and sufficiently in advance.
7. There is always one more thing you can do to move toward a positive outcome. Find it and do it, then move on to the next one. Proper action, one at a time, will bring feelings of progress and eventually real progress.
8. Examine your life in all its elements. Maintain and improve your physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual well being during this transition with the extra time you have available. The feelings of worth and control of your own life will be amazing in the midst of the strife.
When the turmoil is over, use what you have learned to help others in similar situations. Don’t waste your hard won lessons and know how.
