A basic law of physics is that no matter where you go, you are there. The one thing none of us can escape is our self. That clear articulation of the obvious leads to at least two beneficial conclusions. First, any time and effort we put into a program of personal growth is likely to be an investment with payoff in many, many places. And secondly, if we don’t like the trend of results we are getting at any point in time, the first place to look to make change is inside our self. Whether in our profession, family, community, or close friendships, we are half of all transactions throughout each and every day and night.
Personal growth is like other significant human endeavors in that developing some type of plan is beneficial. To accomplish any plan, we need to get really clear on the objective, identify the path and processes to use getting to that objective, break down the overall into manageable parts, identify the people and resources (including know-how) we will need, establish realistic time/milestone targets, and then execute the plan with a commitment to monitor our progress and adjust as needed. Getting clear on the personal traits we want to claim as our own and being courageously realistic about the gap between that desired end point and where we are now is probably the hardest part of this process. This gap analysis is also the step with the biggest payoff if we do it well. Some really good news is that we don’t have to improve every aspect of our person at once and the goal is progress, not perfection.
Realizing that we are one-half of our relationships of all types, each transaction or exchange we conduct with others, is actually encouraging. It is a natural element of the human condition to spend much time analyzing the actions and behaviors of other people in our lives and wishing “they” would be or behave differently. But what is the chance you can actually change “them?” Not too great, huh? You know because you have tried and know that is not a good use of time. In fact, it usually causes stress in the relationship. Not good. Well, give it up and look instead to yourself. There is much you can do differently almost always. In fact, you can usually do anything and everything differently. So, the question becomes…what is driving me? How do I behave and present myself so that “they” want to engage productively and positively with me? Spinning the pointer from “them” to you will create amazing results over time.
